Hi Reader, Over the past few weeks, we've been looking at what happens before a difficult conversation ever begins. We recognize the emotion. We question the story. We create space before we respond. And then we have the conversation based on what we actually know. That last part is where leadership gets practical. Imagine saying to an employee, “You don't care about your work.” You may feel that way. But you can't actually know what's happening inside their head. Now consider saying, “The...

Hi Reader, You recognize the emotion. You question the story. Now comes the part that can change the entire conversation: the pause. We've all had moments when we responded while frustrated and wished we had handled things differently later. Maybe it was an email you sent too quickly. A comment that came out sharper than you intended. Or a conversation where you walked in already convinced you knew exactly what was going on. The pause gives you a chance to step back before your emotion and...

Hi Reader, Last week, we talked about recognizing the emotion before reacting to it. The next step is just as important: question the story. Here's a simple question: How do you make toast? It sounds obvious. But if you ask several people to write instructions for making toast, you may get very different answers. Some people might assume you know what kind of bread to use. Others might explain how to set the toaster. Someone else might focus on what the finished toast should look like. The...